1 00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:23,200 APPLAUSE 2 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:26,240 MUSIC: Live It Up 3 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,320 # Oh, my song's for singing 4 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,040 # And rocks are for flinging 5 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,960 # Trees are for climbing and bells are for chiming 6 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,360 # Love is for giving 7 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,200 # So, live it up every minute 8 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,240 # Every hour, every day 9 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,960 # All those horns are for blowing 10 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:52,600 # And don't stop sewing 11 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:56,920 # Buttons are for blooming and brides are for grooming 12 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,160 # And love is for giving 13 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,080 # So live it up 14 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:05,000 # Make each minute really count, I say 15 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,000 # I never will give it up 16 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,800 # While the giving is good 17 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:14,280 # I figure to take all the honey from the comb 18 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,600 # Half the days will be breaking 19 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,360 # And there for the taking 20 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,000 # Darned if I'll let them go by 21 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,400 # Live it up every day 22 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,640 # Live it up all the way 23 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:32,240 # Live it up, live it up, live it up! 24 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,360 # I never will give it up while the giving is good 25 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:41,000 # I figure to fill my cup up to the brim 26 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,760 # Half the days will be breaking 27 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,400 # And there for the taking 28 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,960 # Darned if I'll let 'em go by 29 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,120 # Live it up every day 30 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:54,360 # Live it up all the way 31 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,680 # Live it up 32 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,840 # Live it up 33 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,640 # Live it up 34 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:04,960 # Live it up this time...# 35 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,840 APPLAUSE 36 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,000 Thank you. 37 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,760 That's nice. Hello, there. 38 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:27,360 Welcome to the show. It really is very nice to be back with you again. 39 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,800 The first song was called Live It Up. 40 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,960 And that's exactly what I - in fact, we - 41 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,080 intend to do here for the next half an hour. 42 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,200 So, how about come on and join us and have a good time, too? 43 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,960 Let's go! 44 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,360 MUSIC: I'm Going To Make You My Man 45 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,880 # You belong 46 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:53,360 # To somebody else and not to me 47 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,840 # Right or wrong 48 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,400 # Wee! 49 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,000 # That's not the way that it's going to be 50 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,440 # I want you so much inside 51 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,360 # I'm throwing away all my conscience and pride 52 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,680 # I'll try anything to get you 53 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,760 # I'll do anything I can 54 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:15,160 # I'll do anything to get you 55 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,960 # I'll cheat and I'll lie 56 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,760 # I'll try till I die 57 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,080 # Till I make you my man 58 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:26,040 # I'm going to make you my man 59 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,040 # I've been burned 60 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,280 # Whenever I follow all the rules 61 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,880 # So, I've learned 62 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:38,280 # That playing fair is just for fools 63 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,360 # I am fighting and win or lose 64 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,400 # I'm not minding my Ps and Qs 65 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:47,560 # I'll try anything to get you 66 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,520 # I'll do anything I can 67 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,440 # I'll try anything to get you 68 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,320 # I'll cheat and I'll lie, fight till I die 69 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,200 # Till I make you my man 70 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:03,280 # I'm going to make you my man 71 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:11,160 # Woo-ooh woo-ooh-ooh 72 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,280 # I want you so much inside 73 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,320 # Throwing the away all my conscience and pride 74 00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,520 # And I'll try anything to get you 75 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:23,760 # I'll do anything I can 76 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,600 # I'll try anything to get you 77 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,640 # Cheat and I'll lie, try till I die 78 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,200 # Till I make you my man! 79 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,920 # Yes, I'm going to make you my man 80 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,800 # Lord I'm going to try till I die 81 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,520 # Yeah, I'll make you my man 82 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,360 # Lord, I'm going to fight till I die 83 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:49,080 # Yeah! # 84 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:53,240 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 85 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,480 You know the nice thing about doing the series last year was 86 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,320 in fact it gave me the opportunity to sing some songs 87 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,520 I'm not normally associated with - 88 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,480 maybe one in Spanish, or an old folk song - 89 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,520 and, from your reactions, you seem to genuinely like them. 90 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,240 It's a great pleasure for me, too, 91 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,160 to sing something quiet for a change. 92 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,280 Here's a nice, pretty, quiet little song called The Water is Wide. 93 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,960 MUSIC: The Water is Wide 94 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,880 # The water is wide 95 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:40,480 # I cannot cross over 96 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:46,920 # And neither have 97 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:52,040 # I wings to fly 98 00:05:54,440 --> 00:06:02,000 # Give me a boat that can carry two 99 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,760 # And we both shall row 100 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,920 # My love and I 101 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,880 # A ship there is 102 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:25,040 # And it sails the sea 103 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,640 # It's loaded deep 104 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:35,280 # As deep can be 105 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:41,640 # But not so deep 106 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,440 # As the love I'm in 107 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:52,520 # And I know not 108 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:58,080 # If I'll sink or swim 109 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,440 Oh, love is gentle 110 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:08,880 # And love is kind 111 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:14,680 # Bright as a jewel 112 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,800 # When first it is new 113 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:26,280 # But love grows old 114 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,600 # And love waxes cold 115 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:38,200 # And so did my 116 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:43,000 # True love for you. # 117 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,320 APPLAUSE 118 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:10,440 Another thing about having a television series of one's own 119 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:13,360 as regards being a lot of fun, is the fact that each week 120 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,440 you meet the guest artist 121 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:18,160 and they're usually a great deal of fun to be with. 122 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,480 Normally, I suppose, one has, say, a musician or a comedian, 123 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,000 but this week's guest is neither a musician or a comedian, 124 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,480 he is, in fact, a conjuror, 125 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,280 perhaps one of the greatest illusionists in the world. 126 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,760 Ladies and gentlemen, the great Campoli! 127 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,000 APPLAUSE 128 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,200 Thank you, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 129 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,960 First of all, I'd like to say what an enormous thrill it is to be here 130 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,720 back in England and on the Dusty Springfield Show. 131 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,800 Now, for my first trick I'd very much like to have the 132 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,280 assistance of a gentleman out of the audience, please. 133 00:08:57,280 --> 00:08:59,680 Could I have the assistance of a gentleman out of the audience 134 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:04,120 for the first trick? Oh, thank you, sir, very much. 135 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,880 Can you help the gentleman up, please? 136 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,120 APPLAUSE 137 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,080 Don't be frightened. 138 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,960 Don't be shy. 139 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,440 Thank you very much, sir. 140 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,240 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 141 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:27,000 Now before we go on, what's that in your pocket? 142 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,680 Ha! Ha! 143 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:32,760 There's nothing in my pocket, yeah, except, er, me pipe... Yes? 144 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:35,240 ..and me tobacco. Yes. 145 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,360 And an egg? Where's that come from? 146 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,040 Let's have a look, have you got any more? No. 147 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,320 What about your other pocket? 148 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,680 Have you been doing the shopping before you came here, sir? No, I... 149 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:47,400 Just a moment. Just a moment. Hold still, sir. 150 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,320 A walking poultry farm! 151 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,160 Here, that ain't funny, is it? 152 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,520 LAUGHTER 153 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,040 Not funny at all - that bird, 154 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,600 it could have scratched my head, couldn't it? 155 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,560 Could have done something on it, couldn't it? 156 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,000 Never mind, sir, it's only a yolk, a joke, as we say. 157 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,480 Well, it ain't my idea of a joke, son, I'll tell you that. 158 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,640 Have you time, please, sir? It's, er... 159 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,400 ..half past... Thank you very much, can I just borrow your watch? 160 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,680 That's my best watch, innit? Now, this is your watch, sir, isn't it? 161 00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,280 Well, of course it is, you know it is. 162 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,960 You just took it off of me, didn't you? 163 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,720 I shall just wrap it up in this, in this handkerchief, sir. 164 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,440 Now, I want you to watch your watch. You're watching your watch, are you? 165 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,680 You've got your watch. 166 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,080 Right, now have you ever thought of selling your watch, sir? 167 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,480 No. You haven't thought of selling your watch? 168 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,720 Well it's just about to come under the hammer now, sir. 169 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:38,640 LOUD HAMMERING 170 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,800 You look worried, sir, I'm worried - 171 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,720 if the trick doesn't work, I don't work. 172 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,520 Let's see how it's done. 173 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,880 Oh, it's back to the Labour Exchange, I think, sir! 174 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,600 Well, that's a fine trick, innit? 175 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,200 LAUGHTER 176 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,680 That's my best watch, I told you, didn't I? 177 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,040 You big fool. 178 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,560 Look at that! It's all right, sir, you can have this watch. 179 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,680 I don't want that watch. I want me own watch! 180 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,520 Now, look closer, sir, look closer. 181 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,320 THIS is YOUR watch! 182 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,880 FANFARE 183 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,920 APPLAUSE 184 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:19,120 Oh, no, it ain't. Oh, no. 185 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,400 That's my watch. The one you smashed up. 186 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,720 No, sir, this is the watch you gave me, sir. 187 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,520 Oh, no it ain't - that's the watch I give you, innit? 188 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:32,120 The one you put in that cloth and smashed up with the hammer. 189 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,840 No, sir, I palmed your watch, you see, sir. 190 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,040 I palmed your watch, I put it in my pocket. Get off! 191 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,200 No, it's true! Yeah? Well, I never saw you. 192 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,480 Well, of course you didn't see me, sir, that's the whole point of it. 193 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,120 Yeah, them, they never saw you, did they? 194 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,720 Of course they didn't see me, 195 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,920 that's the trick, you see, sir, it's sleight of hand. 196 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,120 Yeah, that's a good excuse, that is, innit? 197 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,880 Listen, I come up here, didn't I? See? 198 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,400 I come up here, a member of the British public, 199 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,840 in all good faith, gave you my gold watch! 200 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:08,080 My gold watch, worth £50, didn't I? 201 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,200 My gold hunter and you smashed it up. 202 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,560 LAUGHTER 203 00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:15,160 But, I didn't... You did! You took my gold watch, worth £60... 204 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,120 You offer me that chromium rubbish... 205 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,200 No, listen, please, please, please, listen to reason, friend. 206 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:28,040 Never mind about "friend"! I want my watch back, don't I? 207 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,560 Listen, now if the watch you gave me was gold, which you say it was. 208 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,600 It is. Find the gold among those bits there then. 209 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,800 Go on, find the gold in there, there's none there. 210 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,680 No, of course there's none there, 211 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,520 no, because you've palmed it, ain't you? 212 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,560 You sleighted of handed it. No... You must have done! 213 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,920 Because there's no gold there, so somebody's picked it up! 214 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,520 What's going on? 215 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,200 Miss Springfield, look, you know the trick, I palmed his watch, 216 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:54,920 I smashed up another one and now he says it isn't his watch 217 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,720 and the watch he gave me was gold. 218 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,600 Worth £70! 219 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,880 LAUGHTER 220 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:02,440 You're telling fibs, you are. 221 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,320 No, I ain't telling fibs, no. 222 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,040 Your watch was not worth £70 and you know it. 223 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,040 Well, it might not have been worth actual £70... 224 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,480 And furthermore, it wasn't gold. 225 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:14,680 Come on, tell the truth. Well... 226 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:18,120 ..it might not have been actual gold, no, but it was goldish! 227 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,680 You... 228 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:22,280 ..you know it wasn't gold. Look! 229 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,160 This is your watch. This is your watch! 230 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,040 Well, it might be, it might be my watch. 231 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:29,080 It certainly is your watch, so you come out of the audience, 232 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,640 you tell all these lies, you ruin his act, you come on here 233 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:32,760 and you ruin the whole show. 234 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,760 I ain't ruining no show, oh, no. 235 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:37,680 I come up here, didn't I, a member of the British public, 236 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,680 in all good faith... Right. ..to assist him and what happens? 237 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:42,560 He's making fun of me. 238 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,840 Puts eggs in me pocket, puts a bird on me head, didn't he? 239 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,000 That could have lacerated my scalp, couldn't it? And you'd be liable. 240 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,280 Me? And you'd be liable, £25,000 damages, see? 241 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,320 Don't be ridiculous. Look! 242 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,000 WHISTLING 243 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,280 He can do all that, can they? 244 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,160 But you don't even begin to understand. 245 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,640 I understand, my girl, I understand... 246 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:06,160 ..you see, I understand that this is stuck together with elastic, innit? 247 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,520 I understand that. You ruined it. I understand... 248 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,760 ..look, he's got a top hat with a hole in it! See? 249 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,320 You see what he does, don't you? 250 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:14,560 Puts it over there and he puts his hand, he... 251 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,480 LAUGHTER 252 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,880 I understand something else an' all. 253 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,040 There's a fella under there! Look at that! Look! 254 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,960 There's a fella handing it all up! 255 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,800 Load of rubbish, innit? 256 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,560 If anyone's ruined your show, it's him. 257 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,200 A load of soppy conjurors. 258 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,720 People don't want all that stuff now, do they? 259 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,800 Get off out of it! People... 260 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,400 ..look, all the British public here that go out for a night out, 261 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,560 see, they want to have a bit of a singsong, don't they? 262 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:42,640 They want to have a song. 263 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,000 What do you think I've been doing for the past quarter of an hour, 264 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,120 but singing? 265 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,000 Yeah, what I mean, all due respect, I mean... 266 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,960 ..people don't want all that woo-wah, woo-wah stuff all the time, 267 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,720 do they? Woo-wah? People like it. 268 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,760 No, they want something with a bit of a tune to it. 269 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,120 I'll show you what I mean. Oi! 270 00:14:58,120 --> 00:15:01,280 Hello? Big ears! 271 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,800 Yes? 272 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,880 Do you know Every Little While? 273 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:06,760 Yes, baldie! 274 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,560 LAUGHTER 275 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,960 Look, I don't want any of your sauce! 276 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,720 You play it then, go on! 277 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,440 MUSIC STARTS 278 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,440 What are you doing that for? Oi, that ain't it! 279 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,920 Every Little While I asked for. That ain't it, I tell you! 280 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:26,240 You want to get yourself some professional musicians. 281 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,200 That is not the song, I tell you. 282 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,880 That's... 283 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,640 MUSIC: Every Little While 284 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,960 Oh, yeah, that's it! Why didn't he play it in the first place? 285 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,240 # Every little while 286 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,120 # I feel so blue 287 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:45,000 # I'm always dreaming 288 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,840 # I'm always scheming 289 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:52,800 # Because I love you! 290 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,240 BOTH: # And only you! 291 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:01,480 # Every little while 292 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,840 # My heart is aching 293 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,000 # Showing up! 294 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,840 # Every little while 295 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,440 # I miss your smile! 296 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,040 # And all the time I... Get off! 297 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,280 # I seem to miss you 298 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:22,920 # I want to, want to kiss you 299 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:27,320 # Every, every, every little while! # 300 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,240 Sing the song, daddy! Remember that song? 301 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,240 Oh, them was good old days, they was. 302 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:39,440 A-one, two, three four! 303 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,200 You could booze your way down to Southend, 304 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,360 have a cupful in the Ivy House. 305 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,720 All the cockles you could eat, stagger around, 306 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:51,200 a few more crates in the chara coming home 307 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,640 and if you felt tipsy in the morning, 308 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,800 see the quack, bung him, and you still had change out of ten bob! 309 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,640 TAP DANCES 310 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,560 Remember Fred Astaire? 311 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:10,720 # Every little while my heart is aching 312 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:18,760 # Every little while, I miss your smile 313 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:23,720 BOTH: # And all the time I seem to miss you - woo! 314 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,640 # I want to, want kiss you! # 315 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,960 Here, what's that you're breathing on me? Oldham mild, innit? Yeah. 316 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,560 # Every, every, every little... 317 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,080 # Every, every, every, little... # 318 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,800 DUSTY: Sing it, daddy! 319 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:47,320 # Every, every, every little while! # 320 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,360 Oh, they was the good old days, they was! 321 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,120 They won't ever come back, you know? 322 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:54,360 Thank God for that! 323 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,200 What you talking about, "Thank God for that"? 324 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,920 Well, you had four million unemployed in those days. 325 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:02,320 You've got to have a few unemployed in a prosperous state, ain't you? 326 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:03,840 Stands to reason! 327 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,560 TROMBONE PLAYS RASPBERRY 328 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,520 Socialist git! 329 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,320 LAUGHTER 330 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,440 Great, steaming Tory nit! 331 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,200 APPLAUSE 332 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,280 You come up... What did you? 333 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,120 What did you call me? 334 00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,240 I said you're a great, steaming, Tory nit! 335 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,000 You're worse than my son-in-law, you are! 336 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,440 Get off of me! Gor, blimey, you look like him an all! 337 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:32,000 Thank you. You've got the same stuff on your hair, you do! 338 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,800 You Scouse git! 339 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:38,080 I was born in Maida Vale. Yeah? Yeah! Yeah? Yeah! 340 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,640 Well, they're the worst kind of Scouse gits, the Maida Valians! 341 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,800 Oh! You ignorant old fool! 342 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:45,360 I'm not staying here to be insulted 343 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:49,160 by a tuppeny ha'penny little bit like you. Don't stay! 344 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:53,000 Standing there with all your chest hanging out, it's disgusting, innit? 345 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,400 Yeah! 346 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,560 Here, wait a minute, you want to see close to - 347 00:18:56,560 --> 00:19:00,600 half a pound of boot polish on her eyeballs! 348 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,240 Looks like a panda, she does! 349 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,000 'Ere, I'll tell you something else, you want to get 350 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,480 Ambrose and his band back, get yourself some proper music. 351 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,120 Don't muck about with all that stuff. 352 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,120 And Elsie Carlisle! She was a proper singer, she was. 353 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,760 She could put a song over! 354 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,000 Get off of me! 355 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,200 APPLAUSE 356 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,160 MUSIC: I Only Wanna Laugh 357 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,080 # Keep the mood I'm in 358 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,680 # For a little while 359 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:45,200 # Let me see that grin, let me see you smile 360 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:51,440 # No soulful tales that fret and frown 361 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:58,720 # No woeful wails that get me down 362 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,280 # No rights or wrongs 363 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,200 # Sing no sad songs 364 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,200 # For me 365 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:18,320 # I only want to laugh 366 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,080 # No time for crying 367 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,880 # Oh, I only want to laugh 368 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,760 # No time for tears 369 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,280 # I only want to sing 370 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:42,280 # A song that's happy 371 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:48,640 # That's why I only want to walk a street that's sunny 372 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:53,200 # I only want to see side that's funny 373 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:59,120 # I'm saving all of my tears until tomorrow 374 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,400 # Cos crying all those tears 375 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,640 # Just ain't my style 376 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,160 # I'm acting like a clown 377 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,720 # But let me be 378 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:22,160 # Cos even though I know the joke's on me 379 00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:26,640 # I only want to, only want to on the want to... 380 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,400 # Hey! 381 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:39,360 # I'm saving all of my tears until tomorrow 382 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:47,160 # Cos crying those tears, it just ain't my style 383 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,880 # I'm acting like a clown, but let me be 384 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:59,800 # Cos even though the joke's on me 385 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:04,400 # I tell the girls goodbye 386 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,800 # Cos I don't want to cry 387 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,840 # I only want to, only want to 388 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:16,800 # Only want to laugh! # 389 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:28,320 APPLAUSE 390 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,360 Thank you. 391 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:39,760 The first time I heard that was actually in France. 392 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:43,720 And, I don't know what France means to you, to me, I suppose it 393 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:47,160 means, like, Paris and lots of lovely juju clothes 394 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,680 and the Eiffel Tower. 395 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,440 And two things which invariably seem to go together, in my 396 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:56,600 experience anyway, one is garlic and the other is love. 397 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,120 I'm not too sure of the garlic part of that, 398 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:02,280 but about the love part I know that the French write 399 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,840 some of the most beautiful love songs in the world. 400 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,680 Here's one, it's really a very pretty song I think, 401 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,640 by Jacques Brel. 402 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,680 MUSIC: If You Go Away 403 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,040 # If you go away 404 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,880 # On a summer day 405 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,400 # Then you might as well 406 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,280 # Take the sun away 407 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,960 # All the birds that flew 408 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,520 # In the summer sky 409 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,880 # When our love was new 410 00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:39,640 # And our hearts were high 411 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,080 # And the day was young 412 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:44,840 # And the night was long 413 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,480 # And the moon stood still 414 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,400 # For the night bird's song 415 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,720 # If you go away 416 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,120 # If you go away 417 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,960 # If you go away 418 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,440 # But if you stay 419 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,840 # I'll make you a day 420 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,000 # Like no day has been 421 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,160 # Or will be again 422 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,680 # We'll ride on the rain 423 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,640 # We'll sail on the sun 424 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:22,880 # We'll talk to the trees and worship the wind 425 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:28,120 # Then if you go I'll understand 426 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:34,080 # Leave just enough love to hold in my hand 427 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,200 # If you go away 428 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:39,800 # If you go away 429 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,520 # If you go away 430 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,760 # Ne me quitte pas 431 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,400 # Il faut oublier 432 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,160 # Tout peut s'oublier 433 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,360 # Qui s'enfuit deja? 434 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:04,200 # Oublier le temps des malentendus 435 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:10,360 # Et le temps perdu a savoir comment 436 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:15,360 # Oublier ces heures qui tuaient parfois 437 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,800 # Le coeur du bonheur 438 00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:21,920 # Le coeur du bonheur 439 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,720 # Ne me quitte pas 440 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,880 # Ne me quitte pas 441 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,320 # Ne me quitte pas 442 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,080 # But, if you stay 443 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:42,560 # I'll make you a night like no night has been 444 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,400 # Or will be again 445 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,640 # We'll ride on the rain 446 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,360 # And I'll sail on your touch 447 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:56,360 # I'll talk to your eyes that I love so much 448 00:25:56,360 --> 00:26:01,240 # Then if you go I'll understand 449 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:06,640 # Please leave me just enough love to hold in my hand 450 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,800 # If you go away 451 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,320 # Ne me quitte pas 452 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,080 # If you go away 453 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,640 # If you go away 454 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,600 # As I know you must 455 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:34,640 # There'll be nothing left in this world to trust 456 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,480 # Just an empty room full of empty space 457 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:44,440 # Like the empty look I see on your face 458 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:50,120 # Oh, I'd have been the shadow of your shadow 459 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,920 # If it might have kept me by your side 460 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:55,960 # If you go away 461 00:26:58,040 --> 00:26:59,600 # Ne me quitte pas 462 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,640 If you go away 463 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:08,880 # Please don't go away. # 464 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,760 APPLAUSE 465 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:31,040 Hey! I'd like to say a very goodnight to you. 466 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,680 MUSIC: Everybody Needs Somebody To Love 467 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,520 And leave you with a little thought that a friend of mine 468 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:37,920 gave to me the other day. 469 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,360 He said the most important thing in the whole wide world is love. 470 00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:44,080 And if you haven't got love, you might as well forget it, 471 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,560 because everybody needs somebody to love! 472 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,120 And if that isn't a cue for a song, I don't know what is! 473 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:50,840 Let's go on saying it! 474 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,240 # Everybody 475 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,000 # Needs somebody 476 00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:00,600 # Everybody needs somebody 477 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,600 # Somebody to love! 478 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:04,680 # Somebody to love. # 479 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,440 Come on, clap your hands. 480 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:08,360 # Sugar to kiss 481 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:11,240 # Honey kisses 482 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,840 # And I need you, you, you 483 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,120 # I need you, you, you! 484 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:20,240 # I need you, you, you # You, you, you!. # 485 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,040 I need everybody up there! 486 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,280 # And I need you, you, you! 487 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:29,080 # Sometimes I get just 488 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:32,040 # A little bit sad inside 489 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:36,440 # Oh, darling, you know you're going to always be mine 490 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,280 # I need you... # You, you, you! 491 00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:41,920 # You're going to need me too! 492 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,320 # I believe in love! 493 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,240 # Oh, honey kisses 494 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,960 # Yeah! # 495 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:55,960 DRUM SOLO 496 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,320 # I need you 497 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,320 # Yes, I need you 498 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,680 # I need you! 499 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,440 # Oh, honey, I need you, yeah! 500 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:13,120 # Everybody! 501 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,960 # Needs somebody! 502 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,120 # Everybody! 503 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,880 # I need somebody 504 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,240 # Somebody to love! 505 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,480 # Somebody to love! 506 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,680 # Dear God, yeah! Woo! #